After a death

If a loved one or someone you know has just died, by natural causes, accident or taken their own life, you will feel shock.  If it has just occurred you need to contact the emergency authorities.  In Australia, it’s 000 for Police and Ambulance.  It is normal for the authorities to require an autotopsy to confirm the cause of death, if the ‘how’ is unclear, and the body may not be released by the coroner for over a week.  It is normal that if you found the body, that a police report may be required.

There are many things to consider, apart from your own physical, emotional, mental and spiritual wellbeing:

– It is common to ask why, to feel guilt or blame, no matter the circumstances.

– Not only will you be processing shock, but also grief.

– Financial situation, will depend on and if there is a will.  You will need a death certificate to close any accounts or to change names, if you are an executor of the will or partner.  In regard to insurance or superannuation, you may require professional assistance to understand the outline of any policies regarding the circumstances of death.

– Arranging a funeral can be challenging as different family members may have different ideas of whether or not to make the circumstances of death public knowledge.  Some prefer to keep the funeral very private.  You may need assistance in writing an eulogy or understanding the celebration of life. 

– Family and friends will either wish to talk about the event or wish to avoid.  Death often brings the worst and the best in people.  It also brings up your own immortality.  Challenging as it is, if each can be allowed their own way of processing, it can assist the shock and grief process.  However, if you are a person that needs to talk, find support that allows you to talk freely without judgment.

– Organise time off from work.

– Honour your feelings, and thoughts, get support if you need it.

Understanding death and grief are challenging processes.  Ensure you have a support system.  The information in this reflection, is general and may not be adequate for your specific circumstances.  Seek professional and legal advice as required.

Other reflections: Loss of a beloved pet, Loss, Forgiveness, Learning to love, again

Other helpful sources: Lifeline, Kids helpline, Mensline, Support after suicide, Relationship Australia

Highly recommend – “Standby Reaponse Service – you are not alone – support and information for people bereaved by suicide”